My Personal Story

 Since I am the owner of this blog and this blog is about wives of porn addicts, I need to share my own personal story with you all. 

My Personal Story...

I wrote this in a private FB group a few days after I found out...So it is raw and real.

I found out in 2014 that my husband was sexting with my SISTER (we were SO close I was shocked...), and they were sending nudes and whatever else you do when sexting... 

And it broke me. I took our three children and left him and stayed at a hotel for 2 days. But, he buttered me up and I came back to him. We did not get counseling and I thought everything would work out. Boy, how wrong I was!!!!!!

Fast forward to this year on January 11th. My other sister (I have three older sisters) called me and said she needed to talk to me. 

When she called me she told me that my husband and my sister were STILL messaging each other, sexting, sending nudes, etc. I absolutely broke down and had a panic attack. I literally could not breathe.

I could NOT believe this was happening AGAIN. We now live in the middle of nowhere, literally, and so I have no place to go. His mother lives only 15 minutes away and I told him he needs to leave. He can live at his mom's house because I can't do this anymore.

He said no, he will live downstairs and give me my space. The next few weeks were really good. He got into seeing a CSAT online counselor (he is a porn addict too), stopped bringing his phone to the bathroom, and talked to me about everything.

Then, about a week or so ago I noticed he was acting out again. Getting angry at simple things and I KNEW he was looking at porn again. My gut with him has NEVER let me down, ever. (ALWAYS follow your gut ladies!!!)

I confronted him and he said he did go on Reddit and started scrolling but stopped and deleted it (insert eye roll here). He said that he is really stressed out because of money issues and when he gets stressed out that is when the urge is the worst.

I have dealt with his porn addiction for as long as I have known him which is since I was 14!! So, I know the hardships and trauma this has caused me in his porn addiction alone...

Me Today...

As I stated above, that was written when I found out about everything earlier this year. I was so very confused when I wrote this (in a private FB group). 

I was desperate to hear there were others out there in my same exact position. Thankfully, there were (well, not thankfully but you know what I mean!).

I felt like he was a complete stranger after finding out everything I did. And my sister? We were SO close!! How the hell could she??!?? I still think about this and just cannot believe she did this to me!!

We have not talked since that day. And that day I did talk to her, she called ME 'an insane bitch'!!! Can you believe that????? I will NEVER get over her betrayal of me, ever. I am still in shock from it all. Will it ever go away? Not sure...

As of right now, we are so damn broke that my husband cannot see a therapist. He has been doing better and as soon as we get more money, he will be going back to his CSAT (that is the ONLY therapist I recommend for people who are addicted to porn and sex).

It really sucks now too, because my parents are really getting old and the 'sister' who did this to me lives with them. So, I can't exactly go over to their home and see them. I have to plan things to see them, and we live about 600 miles from them so we have to plan ahead of time to see each other.

So, not only did 'that sister' take away my trust, her as my BFF, almost break up my husband and me and our family, but she has also managed to make it harder to see my sweet parents. However, I do see them, just not as much as I want to. 

She is a terrible person and she STILL doesn't see what she did was wrong. A total narcissist!!! She NEVER does anything wrong, it is always someone else's fault! 

Like I said above she called me an insane bitch when I was balling my eyes out and confronting her. She told me she didn't do anything, it was all my husband, never her!!!

 Well, sweetie, it takes TWO people. And the things I eventually found out, just wow... This is why I have trust issues big time anymore... People I would have given my life for have deceived me and made a fool of me. So very sad.

Anyway, that is MY story in a nutshell. Feel free to email me yours at wivesofpornaddicts@yahoo.com or anonymously post yours in the comment section below.

HUGE HUGS!!

Ms D